EN

Self-restraint
Compassion

Adept
Inept

motere move
e- away

Two minds:
Thinking head rational
Feeling heart emotional

Harmonica head and heart

Critical
Condescending

The marshmallow test:
Impulse id desire gratification
Restraint ego self-control delay

Social chameleon

Terry Dobson train story

Emotional realities his and hers

John Gottman

Aaron Beck, founder of cognitive therapy

Stonewalling to

Marital advice
Bookmark

Keeping the discussion on track
Empathizing
Tension reduction

Calming down
Detoxifying self-talk
Non defensive speaking and listening

Attack vs. attempt to change behavior

Empathy: actually hearing the feelings behind what is being said

Mirroring
Thoughts
Feelings

xyz
When you did x it made me feel y and I’d rather you did z

Innocent victimhood
Righteous indignation

Validation:
I see you’re upset
Compliments